Ice Ice Go Away

Oklahoma ice storm - about an inch of ice, and so much sleet that it looks like snow. There is still freezing rain out there right now, and later it will change over to snow, and we will get several inches of snow on top of this mess. Sigh...I would like to hibernate until Spring!

Aside from snow, there has been a lot going on. Dad's surgery will be next Friday (a week from tomorrow). C has been having a LOT of behavior issues - managed to get kicked off the school bus for a few days even, and so we have almost doubled his dose of ADHD meds. Cross your fingers that this works, because one more strike and he could lose his bus privileges for the year, and then we are so screwed! I've been putting it off, but I have to start the IEP process for him, like it or not. Work is crazy, between year end stuff and systems issues, have still been putting in extra hours, but still hoping to be past that soon. I worked from home today, due to the ice storm, and will again tomorrow. And last but not least, I am still dating this really wonderful guy that I started talking to in December. I met his 16 year old daughter last weekend, and (provided the roads are drivable by Saturday) he will meet my kids this weekend.

Not the news our family wanted to hear

The PET scan confirmed that Dad's colon cancer is back. He has an appointment on Monday with the surgeon to schedule the surgery to have more of his colon removed, and during surgery they will put in a port to start chemo.

Where does the time go

January is more than half over and I feel like it has just flown by. I've been working and working and working some more. This is the busiest time of year at work, so I've put in some long hours, but things are finally slowing down enough that my kids no longer startle when I come home before bedtime. I really can't complain...in general I don't have to put in much extra time at work, other than year end stuff (which is now), and maybe 2-3 days each month during the closing cycle. Still, I'm glad to have the bulk of the work behind me now for another year.

I had written out a long paragraph with an update on the dating situation, but then deleted it before posting. I think it's complicated pretty well sums things up, and I'm just not ready to put any details out there on a public blog.

The boys are all doing well, and fairly healthy aside from E's usual health issues. Wrestling season for the novice kids is slowly wrapping up. C can wrestle in a few of the upcoming open tournaments if we choose - not sure if we will do that or not. And basketball will be over soon for N. Will be nice to have a little free time again, at least until the next round of activities start up. They all three brought home good report cards for the second term, and are still doing really well in this school district.

The other news that has been occupying my mind is that my Dad's cancer may be back. A spot was found on his colon during his last CT scan, and he had a PET scan last week. They told my parents that if they didn't see anything on the PET scan they would cancel his appointment for this Friday, but given that it's been almost a week since the PET scan and the appointment is still on, we are thinking it's not going to be good news. Next step will probably be biopsy.

Feast or Famine

I have decided that the Universe has a quirky sense of humor regarding my attempts at dating. One that I don't particularly appreciate at this moment, although surely someday I will look back at this and laugh.

The saga of the guy with no name was difficult. Made even more so by the fact that we are still in contact. Sort of friends...sort of more. Hard to explain. But...I convinced myself that I needed to move on, because even though there are still feelings there for this guy, we can't really have a future together so long as, well, that's not important. So I signed back up on eH, and started talking to a really nice guy, and we set up a time to meet over Christmas weekend. Then along comes Mother Nature and the blizzard, so we agree to reschedule for last Wednesday. But on Wednesday he ends up stuck in the ER dealing with an emergency with a patient (he is in the medical field), so once again we agree to reschedule, this time for Saturday. And just an hour or two before time to meet on Saturday, his daughter is involved in a car accident. She was fine, but his car was not. Seriously, by this point I figured this poor guy was afraid to set another date with me lest things begin falling from the sky...but lo and behold, he is willing to give it another chance. Perhaps forth time will be the charm.

In the meantime, my email pops up with a notification that hey...some other guy from eH wants to communicate. Hmmm...well, what should I do about that? Figuring at that point that replying back isn't going to hurt anything, I answer his questions and don't think too much more about it. Today, I get his response...and it's back to my turn again. While I am pondering what to do regarding him....my email pops up with a notification that yet ANOTHER person from eH wants to start communication. Um, hello Universe, it is kind of flattering...but I only asked for ONE guy. Just one. Hello, anybody listening up there?! Apparently in my dating life it is either feast or famine, and nothing in between.

Christmas Eve Blizzard

I don't mind that my northern friends sent me some snow for Christmas, but could have done without the blizzard conditions! But we still have power (for now at least) and plenty of supplies...fresh baked cookies, and a bottle of wine chilling.

Life is Good

I know my last post had a rather gloomy tone, so I felt like I needed to do an update, because things in my life are okay. No, better than okay. A little introspection, some time to grieve what could have been, and now I'm moving on. And as I reflected on all the events of late, I realized that really...life is good right now. There is a little piece of me that is still sad about the relationship that didn't work out, but I can look back now and see things through a different set of eyes. We are still in touch, as a matter of fact, he fixed my garage door for me last week. But I am moving on. There is even a new person of interest in my life, although it is very early days still so I'll just leave it at that. The ADHD issues with C continue to be a challenge, but school is out for a few weeks, so that relieves some of the pressure. And truly, I have three of the most awesome kids on Earth. Even with all of their bickering and attitude, I look at them and wonder how in the world I got so lucky.

Just a few words

My heart hasn't been into posting. I haven't been reading blogs either, and for that I'm sorry. All I've done lately is work and cry. And cry and work.

I am walking away from the relationship. I have no other real choice. But it hurts. A lot. I'm not sharing any details, but it does have to do with the earlier situation that caused me to delete all of my old blog posts.

The ADHD issues with C are spiraling. The meds are causing troubling side effects, so there have been days I haven't given him his meds. The school seems to think they have a right to only teach him when medicated. I have a real problem with that. We have had to cut back on wrestling practices and stop going to tournaments for now, because of the behavior issues...even on meds. It is causing a lot of tension in our house between the boys, which means a lot of stress for me.

Work is fine. I've been putting in very long hours, but things will be back to normal soon.

I finally joined the 21st century and got a "real" cell phone (as opposed to the trac*fone I made do with for years.) I think the phone is smarter than I am.

I have lost 35+ pounds in the last year and a half. Most of which have been in the last few month. I've lost 7 lbs just in the last few days. Not the healthiest way to lose, but it is sort of nice to fit into clothes I haven't worn since before C - well, before E even. It's like having a whole new wardrobe. On the other hand, it would be nice to be able to sleep and eat again.